Despite my love of autumn and winter, I certainly didn't grow up thinking that summers were something to be glossed over and got through as quickly as possible. Living so close to Gwithian beach in Cornwall meant that a huge part of our lives revolved around the coast, all year round.
One of my favourite childhood memories is the feeling at the very end of a day on the beach, when you have packed up the towels, the picnic debris and so on, put on clothes over the top of slightly damp swimsuits and an enormous amount of sand and then all troupe your way up the winding path up the cliffs to head back to the car. Everyone's always absolutely dog-tired by this time and sleepy from a day spent in the sun. There would also be that slightly gritty, shivery, prickly feeling from a bit of sunburn too. Back in those days, suncream was something that you took on holidays abroad. And then when you were nearly back at the car, you'd all stop and turn to look back out over the sea and there would be the most amazing sunset setting the sea on fire and then melting into an enormous, languid pool of molten gold and pink. We used to always listen for the sizzle as the sun hit the sea at the horizon and when I was very small everyone else would pretend that they'd heard it and I'd missed it again. I was always so annoyed and could never work out how I'd managed to miss it yet again!
My mother loved sunsets, but most of all she loved "sparkly water" - when the light catches ruffled water and creates a path of glitter leading to the sun. I cannot ever see sparkly water without thinking of her. I hope that's the job that God's given her, spreading glitter on the water. [As always, I'm on the train writing this. Not the best place to have thoughts like that and make yourself do a proper full on well up just as the ticket stamping guy is coming along!]
Those days on the beach growing up formed the backbone of our lives in the summer. There were many times when we'd come out of school and Mum and Dad would be waiting in the car with all our swimming stuff and a cool box packed with sausages and rolls to cook hotdogs on the beach over a fire. It was the best childhood anyone could ask for really.
Thursday 14 October 2010
"THE DAY"
"THE DAY", for me, is one of the most exciting and exhilerating days of the year. THE DAY [ok, I'll stop putting it into capitals now, ok?] is the day, usually towards the end of August, beginning of September where you step out of your door in the morning and feel that tiny hint of something in the air, that infitesimal trace of coolness, that lets you know that autumn is on it's way, closely followed by winter.
I love that feeling of anticipation that it brings. The feeling that something amazing is just around the corner. Also for me, it heralds the possibility of cold, crisp, frosty mornings where the air burns your tubes and is so cold that you can feel it enter ever single fissure of your lungs. Frankly, I can think of no better way to start a day!
As a child, I always much preferred the winter months to the summer. Maybe this had something to do with the fact that my mother absolutely despised the heat of mid-summer and always looked foward to autumn with an eagerness usually reserved for small toddlers looking forward to the arival of santa.
The day signalled the end of summer, getting everything ready to go back to school, the promise of darker nights with bonfires and fireworks and Christmas. It was the changing of the trees and walking through heaps of crunchy leaves by the side of the road.
Once I was older and had left home, my mother and I would always phone each other. "Did you feel it? Did you feel that it's the day today?" and usually we'd both have been heading to the phone at the same time to call each other. I find the same thing with my own daughter now. I've educated her on recognising the day and she gets just as excited about it as I do, which is incredibly gratifying.
I love that feeling of anticipation that it brings. The feeling that something amazing is just around the corner. Also for me, it heralds the possibility of cold, crisp, frosty mornings where the air burns your tubes and is so cold that you can feel it enter ever single fissure of your lungs. Frankly, I can think of no better way to start a day!
As a child, I always much preferred the winter months to the summer. Maybe this had something to do with the fact that my mother absolutely despised the heat of mid-summer and always looked foward to autumn with an eagerness usually reserved for small toddlers looking forward to the arival of santa.
The day signalled the end of summer, getting everything ready to go back to school, the promise of darker nights with bonfires and fireworks and Christmas. It was the changing of the trees and walking through heaps of crunchy leaves by the side of the road.
Once I was older and had left home, my mother and I would always phone each other. "Did you feel it? Did you feel that it's the day today?" and usually we'd both have been heading to the phone at the same time to call each other. I find the same thing with my own daughter now. I've educated her on recognising the day and she gets just as excited about it as I do, which is incredibly gratifying.
Downright rude
I'm beginning to wonder if there's something in the water. Something that's making people generally more belligerant, rude, bad tempered and grumpy.
There have been a number of things lately that have led me to believe this.
Now, I'm generally the sort of person who says sorry when other people bump into them. I don't lose my temper often and I'm rarely really grumpy for no good reason. But, the other day I came home from dropping my step-daughter off at her school to find someone parked right across my gate so I couldn't drive into our driveway.
Most days I would plonk the car somewhere and then and then move it onto the drive later. Instead, I parked right in front of the offending car so that they wouldn't be able to drive off until I moved my car. [Typically, poo-pants from next door came along at this point with a smug look on her face].
I wandered off into my kitchen and put the kettle on and lay in wait until the owner of the vehicle returned. Shortly after, a guy of about 35 appeared, looking around to see who's car was blocking him in. I went down the garden and he shouted "Sorry!" and went to get in his car. Again, my normally non-confrontational disposition deserted me.
"It's very inconsiderate you know, to park right across the gateway like that. Normally I'm just leaving for work now and you'd have made me very late". All said in a fairly reasonable tone of voice.
"Fuck off", came the reply. "I've said sorry, so don't give me a hard time".
Well, I was a bit taken aback by this and not really sure how I should respond to be honest. I ended up with a rather lame, "It's just really inconsiderate, that's all".
"Well, I was late and there's no parking around here" he replied.
"Not my problem I'm afriad", I said.
"It fucking is now that I'm parked across your gateway, innit?" he said with a bit of a flourish.
I gave up at this point and got into my car giving him a look with lips so thin that they had practically disappeared [my mother would be so proud].
Since this particular instance I've noticed that on a couple of occasions where I've been piqued enough to actually bother to remonstrate with anyone on the road that's done anything particularly daft on the motorway, or, in this morning's case, pulled out right in front of me at a junction, instead of saying sorry and sticking their hand up, they tend to stick two fingers up instead. Or worse, have a full on ragey shout in my direction accompanied with various hand and arm gestures.
There's two things that arise from this. One, if I didn't make my displeasure felt in the first place, the other people wouldn't be rude back and two, why are people so rude at all instead of just saying sorry? There's a third point too actually, what's come over me that I'm actually remonstrating with these people at all in the first place when normally I'd be waving them through and taking the blame on their behalf?
Should I just stop ever confronting anyone and instead of thinking of myself as a doormat think of it as opting out of putting myself in the path of rudeness? Or, should I feel that I'm fed up with always just backing down and letting other people get away scot free?
If I continue to pull people up, will it honestly make any difference other than making ME feel bad when people are rude? Do we think that those people will be sitting in their cars thinking, "Ooooh, wish I hadn't let off steam at that woman I cut up on the roundabout. Poor girl, wasn't her fault at all that I've had an utterly shit morning".
I think that I'll do myself a favour and opt out of confrontation and thereby avoid the rudeness and carry on living in my own happy little smiley world of pleasantness.
There have been a number of things lately that have led me to believe this.
Now, I'm generally the sort of person who says sorry when other people bump into them. I don't lose my temper often and I'm rarely really grumpy for no good reason. But, the other day I came home from dropping my step-daughter off at her school to find someone parked right across my gate so I couldn't drive into our driveway.
Most days I would plonk the car somewhere and then and then move it onto the drive later. Instead, I parked right in front of the offending car so that they wouldn't be able to drive off until I moved my car. [Typically, poo-pants from next door came along at this point with a smug look on her face].
I wandered off into my kitchen and put the kettle on and lay in wait until the owner of the vehicle returned. Shortly after, a guy of about 35 appeared, looking around to see who's car was blocking him in. I went down the garden and he shouted "Sorry!" and went to get in his car. Again, my normally non-confrontational disposition deserted me.
"It's very inconsiderate you know, to park right across the gateway like that. Normally I'm just leaving for work now and you'd have made me very late". All said in a fairly reasonable tone of voice.
"Fuck off", came the reply. "I've said sorry, so don't give me a hard time".
Well, I was a bit taken aback by this and not really sure how I should respond to be honest. I ended up with a rather lame, "It's just really inconsiderate, that's all".
"Well, I was late and there's no parking around here" he replied.
"Not my problem I'm afriad", I said.
"It fucking is now that I'm parked across your gateway, innit?" he said with a bit of a flourish.
I gave up at this point and got into my car giving him a look with lips so thin that they had practically disappeared [my mother would be so proud].
Since this particular instance I've noticed that on a couple of occasions where I've been piqued enough to actually bother to remonstrate with anyone on the road that's done anything particularly daft on the motorway, or, in this morning's case, pulled out right in front of me at a junction, instead of saying sorry and sticking their hand up, they tend to stick two fingers up instead. Or worse, have a full on ragey shout in my direction accompanied with various hand and arm gestures.
There's two things that arise from this. One, if I didn't make my displeasure felt in the first place, the other people wouldn't be rude back and two, why are people so rude at all instead of just saying sorry? There's a third point too actually, what's come over me that I'm actually remonstrating with these people at all in the first place when normally I'd be waving them through and taking the blame on their behalf?
Should I just stop ever confronting anyone and instead of thinking of myself as a doormat think of it as opting out of putting myself in the path of rudeness? Or, should I feel that I'm fed up with always just backing down and letting other people get away scot free?
If I continue to pull people up, will it honestly make any difference other than making ME feel bad when people are rude? Do we think that those people will be sitting in their cars thinking, "Ooooh, wish I hadn't let off steam at that woman I cut up on the roundabout. Poor girl, wasn't her fault at all that I've had an utterly shit morning".
I think that I'll do myself a favour and opt out of confrontation and thereby avoid the rudeness and carry on living in my own happy little smiley world of pleasantness.
Monday 6 September 2010
Why do this?
I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time, usually on the train, scribbling away with my fountain pen writing all the stuff that pops into my head; memories from childhood, people I'm observing on the journey, things of importance that happen, and I thought it might be better to put them all on here instead of having masses of notebooks.
You might find some of it amusing, or you might find it as dull as ditch water - who knows. So, feel free to read away and comment if it strikes a chord with you. It will be sporadic, I should imagine. It's not like I have nothing else to do, afterall.........
You might find some of it amusing, or you might find it as dull as ditch water - who knows. So, feel free to read away and comment if it strikes a chord with you. It will be sporadic, I should imagine. It's not like I have nothing else to do, afterall.........
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